Thaisplicado

December, 24th, 2012

I missed you and I may have done something wrong. I knew I couldn’t talk to you, specially about that thing that made me hate you so much, but, you know, life sucks and it has sucked us so badly that we can’t even talk as friend like we used to be.

I hate saying it, but I really miss our friendship and parts of our relationship. We were such good friends, we didn’t care for what people said about us and we knew that we truly loved each other, until, you know, you screwed everything. I can’t forgive you for that, but I also can’t hate you for what we passed. Like I said, life has sucked us badly, specially me because you are happy with your new girlfriend and I, well, I have a new boyfriend but it is pretty different. I can’t figure out if this new relationship is better, or if it makes me feel better. I don’t think so, even though I know that I like him very much, it will never be the same, or better than what we had.

Tell me, how do you do that? How could you easily replace me? The things that you passed without me and how you say that those things in 2010 were the reason for our ending… You knew that I couldn’t do anything because you haven’t told me what was going on! You knew that if you had me be part of that bad time, I could have helped you! You knew that I was there, so, why haven’t you let me be there for you? You knew that I could have done anything to be by your side, I would have said “Fuck the distance, I’m going to be by your side. You need me more than ever!”, you know I would have done it… You know it, right?

But now, let’s come to the future. Why have you searched for me if you had no intention of pleasing for my forgiveness? Why have you searched for me without the intention of pulling us together? While you break my heart, I was there, looking for you everyday. You had no idea of how much I prayied for your health and you know that I’m not that believer in prays.

I don’t know what to do and that is your fault, again. I hate that feeling of trapness and you know it, so, why do you always do it? You know that I will never forget you, forget us, and you do it so easily… Why don’t you just leave me to be free of you? I need a desintoxication of the pass, but I also need you. Again, life has sucked me for than you and I hate you for it. At least, life could have sucked you just a little bit, don'tyou think? Even in these days, I’m still in the bad situation while you are happy and walking around with your new girlfriend, smiling… I hate you, but I still have other feelings for you. Shit.

MEDEIROS, Thais

Feeling trapt.